Le Tombeau de Abélard et Héloïse (détail), originally uploaded by Patrick T Power.

We may never know for sure who was buried in Jesus' tomb. Wouldn't it be great if first century folks took an extra moment to supplement their iconic decorations with a useful plague? Here, for example, is the explanatory marker at the tomb of tragic Christian lovers, Abelard and Heloise.

When I was a little boy, I played Joseph in a church play. I would have much rather played Abelard. I still would have had to hold a girl's hand (which at that time was tres yucky), but at least I could have been in a fight scene when her uncle attacked me. And what a cool exit, like something out of Tales of the Crypt: "The Chronique de Tours reports that, at the moment when the tomb of Abelard was opened for the body of Heloise, Abelard held out his hand to receive her."