The first reviews are in, and it looks like the only real "teachable moment" of Da Vinci Code movie will be for critics to instruct us what a good film is like.  Still, that "Tom Hanks was a zombie" is welcome news indeed.  I like zombie movies.

What I don't like, however, are theater concession stands.  Instead of washing down a 15oz pack of Good 'n' Plenty with 72oz of Coke, I'm gonna sneak in a stylish Da Vinci Code cocktail. 

Haven't heard of it?  The DVCC is a mix of Cointreau, Tequila, Campari and lemon, and as any expert symbologist knows it's an ancient icon of decadent pleasure.  Knock back a few of 'em and pretty soon you'll forget whether you have a spouse and kids! 

You can get this divine concoction at the Hotel d'Angleterre by Lake Geneva as part of their Da Vinci Code package.  In addition, the hotel's house painter will paint you a portrait guaranteed to "capture your essence and immortalise your persona."  The package also includes a "daily newspaper"--which is a better deal than it sounds, what with your becoming immortal.

Cheers!