Usually when you read about a church theft the objects in question are sacred--altar fixtures, donations, innocence . . . (I kid, I kid!). But that's not what thieves stole a couple a couple days ago from an Episcopal church in Atlanta, where thieves stole the catalytic converters from three church vans and a bus.

Why a catalytic converter? For a moment my thoughts drifted toward the metaphorical, with embittered ex-Christians plotting the theft to keep the pastor from, well, catalyzing conversions. But it turns out that this explanation does not survive Ockham's razor. As this news article explains, catalytic converters contain platinum, making them useful to be harvested for dentistry and jewelry.

Thus endeth the lesson.