So I'm scrolling through the latest news on charity when I come across Dog-Gone But Not Forgotten, a romance novel about a dog, its owner, and the animal control coordinator who took the owner's virginity at their high school prom. What make the book charitable, of course, is that it's part of the publishers PAWS for Thought line, whose profits go to support It's Meow or Never.
But what makes this novel BofG worthy?
Read on, mon frere and frerettes, for the passage that the publisher selected to induce you to buy the book:
She pulled Nana’s van into Heavenly Doggie Kennel’s lot eighteen minutes and thirty seconds later. . . .
With the help of enigmatic DogLady, along with tugs, shrieks, pushes and—finally—a stale Lifesaver Carrie found in the console between the front seats, Ellie got into the van. Apparently, the dog liked Lifesavers.
She also liked everything else because during the ride home Ellie pulled up and shredded half the rug and ate a plastic Sacred Heart of Jesus statuette, then added to Nana’s van l’odeur du something gone bad with the smell of something done bad, depositing a runny poop the size of –well, Rhode Island—onto in the center bench seat. Way to go, Ellie. Carrie pulled over and did her best to clean up the mess with a handful of Dunkin Donut napkins and some dried out moist towelettes she had found in the glove compartment. Without gagging. Or passing out.
“I think I hate you,” she told the dog, who licked the side of her face and her ear with a tongue the size of a facecloth.
She hated her even more when a car-sick Ellie vomited on the other rear seat, blanketing it with half-digested kibble and pieces of plastic Jesus.
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